Choosing to Move to Reno, NV

Josh applied and interviewed at a lot of schools during the 2016-2017 application cycle.  Since he was finishing his post-doc we had planned that he would now look for an assistant professor position at a university.  He had a great interview at the University of Nevada, Reno, despite interviewing when the university closed due to flooding.  He got an offer pretty quickly.  We were hoping that things with BYU might work out, but felt that we should still consider Reno.  

I remember early in 2017 praying for about an hour about what we should do.  I remember feeling strongly that we should continue to pursue a move to Reno.  Even though I felt strongly about this, I still personally held back and wasn't really ready to fully do that.

As part of this pursuing the Reno option, we went to Reno as a family for a few days to explore and see if it could be a possibility for our family.  We were able to meet with Josh's potential colleagues and ask a lot of questions.  I felt some peace during that meeting that this could be a good fit for all of us.  We were able to go rock climbing, drive around Reno, and drive around a little with a realtor to get an idea of the housing market.  We also enjoyed one of the buffets at Circus Circus and Matthias was introduced to lobster claws (he's a fan and also a silly kid).

When we got back from Reno, I wrote this in my journal.

March 19, 2017

We got back from Reno, NV last night. Josh has an offer at UNR and I was just invited for an initial interview. I have mixed feelings about this, because it is exciting and it's a beautiful city, but I love my job and my life here. And I know I can't ask Josh to wait for BYU--it's not fair and it's not the right thing.

I prayed and wanted to write down some of my questions and answers.  One main question is, what does God want our family to do and where does he want us to be next school year? I also wanted to know what He might want from me in particular.

These are some of the thoughts I had while praying. First, I need to get more sleep. I was also reminded to do those things that bring balance to my lifer--sleep, exercise, do my best in all that I'm doing (including delegating or letting things go), say my prayers, and study the scriptures.

Second, I was able to express my concerns about Reno more fully--specifically the differences between Reno and Provo and whether or not I could get my license in Nevada (which would affect my job prospects). The Lord told me that I need to do my research on that second part.  I was also reminded that I think I already know we're going to Reno. So from there I changed to asking  for blessings specifically for housing, school, friends, Chinese programs, and my work.  I also had the impression that Josh should ask Reno about potential part-time jobs for me.

Sometimes prayer feels like my own counseling session. I need to do that more often.

End Journal Entry

We found out not long after that that BYU Health Sciences had finished their voting and Josh and come in second.  We decided that we would not wait it out and told this to BYU.  After praying again, Josh accepted the offer at UNR.  

Even though I knew this was the right choice, I still struggled with it.  I also struggled with the idea that I might end up as a stay at home mom with two kids in school full time (I had found out that I didn't get the full time job).  What would I do with my time?  I spoke with several family members about this.  Rachel had some great advice on how to keep busy and how my SAH mom experience should have come when we were living close so we could just hang out all of the time. :)  

I also called and chatted with Jonathan, who thought for sure I had butt dialed him.  He had great advice about finding additional values in my life--as my life is not just my work and my kids.  It was really helpful to talk to him and really helped me shift my perspective about how nice this could be.  When I was eventually offered a 3/4 time position at UNR, I was both excited for the opportunity and also saddened that I wouldn't have as much time at home to grow in ways that I had started envisioning after talking to Jonathan.  It also meant putting off our book club.  

I also chatted with God about this.  One night as I was reflecting on our decision to move and how my life had worked out up until this point, I remembered that God always had a better plan than I ever did.  So one night I was up late and praying and had this conversation.

Me: You have something better planned for us, don't you?

God: Yes

Me: Then I will go, but I will still be a little sad about it.

God: That's okay

Me: Okay, I'll stop throwing a fit about it then.

God: Great!

We went out to Reno again in June to look more seriously at houses and go camping at Lake Tahoe.  We generally enjoyed looking at houses and Matthias and Lizzy liked trying to decide which room would be theirs in each option.  After looking at one particularly weirdly organized house, we drove away and realized that the street was called Centre Pante Court (said center pantie).  The kids loved that.  

Lizzy was disappointed that we didn't want to buy the house in SW Reno that was almost completly pink inside.  It was a nice house, but would have needed a lot of upgrading and we just weren't feeling up to that after updating and then leaving our last home. 

We found a house in the new NW area of Reno that is fairly close to the elementary school and UNR.  It also has great access to Peavine Mountain (and mountain biking), so we put in an offer. 

We then headed out to D.L. Bliss campsite. We had a great time in the out doors.  We went on hikes and played in the water.  Tahoe was so cold in June, but we had such a great time together as a family.

At the beginning of August, the day came to finally pack everything up and move to Reno.  This time was both sad and also exciting.  Packing up a whole house worth of stuff was a big job, but the kids helped and then we had a bunch of family come to help us load up the truck.

Lizzy rolling a box to the truck.  I hope it's not fragile.

Matthias had a great Star Wars room that he was sad to leave.

Lizzy had an awesome pink room that she was also sad to leave.

We packed the truck on a Saturday, went to Sacrament meeting on Sunday, and then drove off to Reno.  On the way out of church, Lizzy poked her head into primary and said a loud bye to everyone.  Grandma Lewis got this picture of her right afterwards.

Saying good buy to our house.  We ended up switching cars--the van was pulled behind the truck (driven by Josh and Jake) and I drove the car with the kids.  We made it to Reno late Sunday night to start our new adventure.

Matthias' Baptism

Matthias turned 8 this year and had the opportunity to be baptized.  For the first half of the year we spent a lot of Family Home Evenings learning about what covenant means and what covenants Matthias will make at baptism.  We also practiced how he would stand and what dad would do in the water.

He was pretty excited about all of this.

Matthias was baptized on August 5, 2017 in the Oak Hills Stake in Provo, Utah. Bishop Devin Taylor said some really nice things about watching Matthias for the last two years as our neighbor across the street.  He mentioned watching Matthias prepare himself for baptism.  I'm very proud of this big kid choosing to be baptized.

Finishing the School Year 2017

Matthias and Lizzy loved being at Wasatch Elementary in Provo this year.  Lizzy attended Kindergarten with Ms. Whitaker.  It was her last year there and she was a fabulous teacher!  Matthias was in 2nd grade with Ms. Perry and Ms. Wang.  He has learned so much Chinese.

Wasatch also has a really fun art program.  Here are the kids showing off some of their artwork at the art show.

Lizzy's class had a program near the end of the year.  She got to stand next to Jared (whom she said was the cutest boy in her class).  She also had a short solo part and rocked it!

Matthias has a Chinese program in which they had to recite things in Chinese and dance to the music.  Matthias was the best one there.  Several parents commented on how well he did all the moves.  

Since Kindergarten is only a half day in Utah, Lizzy was signed up for two Kindergartens (we did this as several people recommended it for working moms).  So she was also able to go to BYU's Kindergarten and several days a week I would pick her up from Wasatch and we would have lunch together in my office.  I will have so many good memories of our time together.

While I was at BYU, I was able to teach Career Exploration with a focus on Women's Issues.  I loved this class and the ability we had to talk about concerns that might come up for women in seeking out a career.  My favorite part was inviting fabulous women to come and talk about their career journeys.  During this semester, my aunt Norah came to talk about her career.  Uncle Terry came to help.  Her talk was amazing as she used flower arranging as a metaphor for all of the things you need in life to find balance.  My aunt Norah has always been an inspiration to me.

I also invited a supportive husbands panel to come and speak to the class.  There are always a few men that accidentally sign up for this section of career exploration, but I think it's important to for all of my class participants to understand this "shift" in perspective from multiple people.  Josh was kind enough to come for this class.  He talked about how it has been hard for both of us to get PhDs and seek career opportunities.  Then he quoted President Hinckley quoting his wife about their relationship, "You have given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it" (The Women in Our Lives, Oct 2004 General Conference).  I definitely feel Josh has done this for me.

Also during this time I finished everything to license as a Clinical Psychologist in Utah.  Yay! What a relief.

Josh also had a busy semester.  Not only was he trying to finish up post-doc projects and watching kids most afternoons, he was also working to obtain future funding and get a job.  More on that in the next blog post.

During this semester we were also able to celebrate Easter with the Webbs. It's so fun to be close to family.

Matthias and Lizzy participated in soccer again this year.  Matthias made a lot of improvements and Lizzy had fun making friends.

Rachel, Matthias, Lizzy, and I drove down to El Paso, TX in May to surprise Alicia for her birthday.  She was seriously surprised and was so good to show us around El Paso.  We had fun at the zoo, seeing the border, and swimming at their pool.  Also, the food was amazing.  But my favorite part of this trip was chatting with my sisters! They are some of my best friends!

Checking out the wild life

Matthias took piano lessons from Melody Storey this year and finished with a piano recital.

At the end of the year, Wasatch has a dance party in which each grade learns and performs a dance.  My dad came with me this year.  Josh was busy that morning with phone calls so was able to run in right before it started.  Lizzy performed the jello dance and Matthias performed in "In the Jungle."

Christmas 2016

It has been a wonderful and eventful year for us. Here is a brief update on what we've been up to.

Elizabeth:  Lizzy graduated from pre-k and started Kindergarten this year.  She attends two separate half days of kindergarten.  She is in the morning kindergarten at Wasatch and in the afternoon at BYU.  She loves eating lunch at mommy's office and getting treats from the receptionist.  Lizzy loves everything pretty and creative.  She is a kind, loving, and feisty girl.

Matthias:  He finished 1st grade and started 2nd grade.  He is in the Chinese immersion program and he and mom have fun speaking in Chinese secretly.  He understands, speaks, and writes pretty well for only having practiced for a year and half.  He had his tonsils out and got glasses this year. He loves mindcraft, legos, and spending time with friends.  He will stand up for those that he loves and has a kind heart.

Josh: He has been busy publishing papers, presenting his research at conferences, and writing grants. He works from home, which means he is able to spent a lot of time with the kids (which the kids love).  He has taken up rock climbing this year and has encouraged our whole family to get involved.  He also is finishing up our kitchen renovation, which is looking really good.

Cheryl: In March, she successfully defended her dissertation and got hooded in May.  It was such a relief to be done.  She started her new job as Assistant Clinical Faculty at BYU's Counseling and Psychological Services, where she works with students, teaches classes, and completes research on mindfulness and mental health outreach.  She enjoys spending time with her family and wishes there was more of that time.

That's our family update.

At this time, our hearts and thoughts turn to our Savior.  We see His hand frequently in our lives--helping us, sustaining us, and guiding us to achieve and grow.  We are grateful for his birth, life, death, and resurrection. No matter the trials and uncertainties in life, we know that we can turn to Him.

We love you all and hope all is well as you celebrate this joyful season.  Merry Christmas!